Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
