what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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