fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
