3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
