it wasn't lemon gatorade
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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