If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
