he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
