I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
