You made me cry and you don't even care
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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