I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
