What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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