so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have peed in a lot of sinks
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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