she smelled like a LAN party
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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