Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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