I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So vagazzling was a success
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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