You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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