Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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