Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
