I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
