i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
