all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Vodka?
Forever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I fill condoms, not promises.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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