thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
