Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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