Already got asked if we're dating
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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