Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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