Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize