pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
