Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
