Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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