you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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