also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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