I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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