even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
