watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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