Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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