I'm eating all of the evidence.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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