Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
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He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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