guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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