i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
