Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
