the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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