The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
