Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
