Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize