Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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