I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
