my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
