I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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