It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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