is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
They have beer where we have blood.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
