Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
