turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
