Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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