let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
