Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
