How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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