SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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