It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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