i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize