How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What changed your mind?
Being sober
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
