I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
