party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
