Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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