we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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