Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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